whew (#37)

Gone, gone, gone: Dysplastic nevus removed on 3/26/2008 via 3mm punch biopsy.
I've had so many skin biopsies that it surprises me that I still get upset when I get a message from the dermatologist's office, asking me to call back for the results.

Approximately 20 minutes elapsed from when I got the message until I could call back, and in that time I felt as if my heart was going to leap out of my chest. There's a jumble of hopes: it's benign; if it's not benign, they got it all; if they have to re-excise, they won't have to cut too much... (I'd like to be able to say there's no reason at all to worry, but I can't, even though the vast majority of my biopsies have come back just fine.)

I called. The shoulder biopsy was benign, and the leg biopsy was, as expected, a dysplastic nevus. Since I was diagnosed with Atypical Mole Syndrome several years ago, that wasn't a surprise. Happily, the margins were clean -- he got it all, so I don't need to go under the knife again.

Now if only I could calm down as quickly as I can spin myself up.

left shin, right shoulder

I should know better than to open my mouth at the dermatologist's. I went yesterday for my semi-annual "mole check" and asked him about the spot on the shin and the small non-healing wound on my shoulder. Today, he biopsied both of them -- punched out the shin, shaved the shoulder. Whee!

I'm wondering if I'm undergoing all this medical crap because I'm basically a whiner. In a recent conversation, someone said something like, "Well, I may have had that complication, but I just blew it off." With the implication that the complication then just straightened itself out.

My experience is, my body doesn't straighten itself out, it ties itself up into even bigger knots. I blew off the problems with my voice until my throat was constantly sore and I could barely speak; now I'm in speech therapy and it's much improved. I don't know, maybe everyone else is walking around enduring various dysfunctions and pain, they're just more stoic about it. Being stoic basically 1) gets me through the every day baseline issues I've decided I can live with, like the number that my RA+fibromyalgia combo does on my hands/hips/tailbone and 2) doesn't work for me for the stuff above and beyond the baseline issues.

My shoulder is quite annoying, but so far the shin is quiet. I wonder if it's because the anesthesia hasn't worn off yet, or it's just in a good place where it won't be pulled and disturbed all the time, unlike the shoulder.